Steel Panther, 'Balls Out' -- Album Review

Steel Panther released Balls Out earlier this month. This new album is classic Panther: ridiculous lyrics and great melodies. The thing about Balls Out is that the lyrics are not as good as the songs on Feel the Steel but the music is far, far superior.

Balls Out features 14 tracks, but one of those is a throw-a-way intro. My favorite songs are "Just Like Tiger Woods," "17 Girls in a Row," and "If You Really Really Love Me." That last track there is a soulful power ballad. Okay, not really!

There is absolutely nothing original about Balls Out and I think the guys in Steel Panther are fine with that. The songs on Balls Out all pretty much sound like our favorites: Def Leppard ("If You Really Really Love Me"), Motley Crue ("I Like Drugs," "Tomorrow Night") and Van Halen ("Just Like Tiger Woods"). If the lyrics were gone and just the music left, I doubt anyone could tell if the songs were recorded in 1986 or 2011 -- and that is a good thing!

I can't help but wonder "what if" with Steel Panther, though. I listen to the band's albums and laugh but always wonder what it would be like to hear the band do a song straight-up, no jokes. Could Steel Panther pull it off? Probably. But clearly money is an issue, and the Steel Panther formula is working. Do yourself a favor and pick up Balls Out. Life is short. Laugh it up.

Alice Cooper, 'Welcome 2 My Nightmare' -- Album Review

Alice Cooper has recently released Welcome 2 My Nightmare, a sequel to the earlier Welcome to My Nightmare, thus making it hard for anyone who ever wants to request either album verbally, instead of on the web. I'm not sure I saw the point initially, but the album does reunite him with Bob Ezrin and with the surviving members of his band, and I guess it provided a template for the sort of sound he was looking for, a pre admission that he was reliving a past era, instead of opening himself to that as a criticism. I basically love this album, I think it does a good job of being a similar set of songs, without sounding like a lesser version, or like no risks were taken.

The track list as as follows:

"I Am Made of You" is a simple piano song that introduces the album.
"Caffeine" is a good up tempo rock song.
"The Nightmare Returns" is a piano segue with some orchestrated bits, not a real song.
"Runaway Train" is another 70's style rock song.
"Last Man on Earth" is a vaudeville sounding song. I almost expect to hear a kazoo.
"The Congregation" sounds like 70s Alice Cooper band, although the spoken breakdown is more modern sounding.
"I'll Bite Your Face Off" is classic 70s hard rock.
"Disco Bloodbath Boogie Fever" is a send up of disco. It's good fun, one of my favorite tracks.
"Ghouls Gone Wild" sounds like a beach party song gone nuts.
"Something to Remember Me By" is the obligatory ballad. I think there's a law that every Alice CD contains one.
"When Hell Comes Home" is about a kid scared of his abusive father coming home. The music is very creepy and this is a definite highlight of the album
"What Baby Wants" follows, and is definitely the best song on the CD. A more modern rock sound ( but still not "modern," just post 70s ).
"I Gotta Get Out of Here" is more of a filler, story line track although it is still rock. It sums up the story line.
"The Underture" has elements of the original songs, and is an orchestral rock track that ties all the songs together, without any lyrics. It's epic, but it's filler.
"Under the Bed" is the bonus track on the Classic Rock edition. It starts slow with piano and then fills out, it's a very epic song that fits the album very well, it's kind of odd it was not included in the normal release.

The Classic Rock edition also has a live version of "Poison," but that is obviously meaningless filler.

I guess most Alice fans have this already, but if you don't have the Classic Rock version, I recommend it, the usual poster/pin/magazine combo and at least one good bonus track. Alice changes his sound a lot, I think this album benefits from being based on an earlier template, so you know what you're getting from the start. Most of this album sounds exactly like 70's Alice Cooper, which is no bad thing, and the few modern touches are not out of place, but just round off giving this album it's own personality and value as an addition to the Alice canon.

Do "Deluxe" Editions Equal Fraud?

You know, I understand that the music industry is in crisis.

I understand that any business grows by getting more clients, or making more on the clients they have. But, I'm kind of sick of paying for the same music, over and over again, just to get every track released in an album cycle. Slash's solo CD was the worst. I own six albums, all different, in my attempts to track down all the tracks he recorded. I bought the Classic Rock special edition, the CD single of "Saraha" (this was actually my most expensive purchase), the standard release (not sure why I have that), and two "deluxe editions," which had slightly different bonus tracks and slightly different contents on their DVD, plus a box set that was released last, and contained every possible track that I'd already bought, plus a couple I'd been unable to track down. I also saw him live and bought a double CD of the show that night, and will probably buy the triple CD release of his new live DVD. Where does it end? And, the Classic Rock special editions have become a mixed bag. I recently bought three. The Alice Cooper one had an extra studio track, which is not (yet) available elsewhere. The Chickenfoot and Machine Head releases both came with live tracks, and Machine Head then released their own special edition with two cover songs on it. How is a live track the best they can do for a "deluxe" magazine release? Surely if they have no more studio tracks, they can do a cover or two, and to make me buy two different deluxe editions within a month of each other, is just taking things a bit far. I can't imagine the Classic Rock folks where thrilled when they realized. Bullet for My Valentine have done the same with acoustic versions and on special "tour" editions. It just does not end.

On top of this, is the ongoing trend for "deluxe" remasters, the entire Queen back catalog has recently been given this treatment, and I have literally dozens of CDs I already owned, bought for the bonus content and remaster. The Def Leppard Hysteria one actually had a ton of good content (b-sides from singles), but stuff like the Rainbow remasters had "bonus" content that equated to a lot of half finished studio tracks that were basically unlistenable, and Pyromania had a soundboard recording of a live show that really didn't add much value. Not only that, but they initially came in nice, deluxe packaging, but now they are coming in standard packaging with a sticker that says "deluxe" on it. I'm the first to say that the music industry is fighting for it's life right now. And, some good things are happening: there's a series of box sets that are basically five albums for $12, in original cardboard album sleeves (I know it's cheaper, but it's also cool). I've bought a ton of those.

This is a step in the right direction.

Charging me triple for an album I have, to sell me tracks that are unlistenable, or trying to make sure I buy a new release at least four times, just feels like fraud and they don't help in a world where people can choose to steal music, and do choose to do so everyday. Labels can't prosecute to stop this and they need for people to care enough about music and about the artists to buy their music.

Bands I Want to See at Rock on the Range 2012

Yesterday, I wrote up my list of dream bands for M3 this summer. Today, I want to list my dream bands for Rock on the Range. The festival always takes place the weekend before Memorial Day at Crew Stadium in Columbus, Ohio.

Here's my dream list:

Asking Alexandria
Attack Attack!
We Came As Romans
Bush
Steel Panther
The Devil Wears Prada
Rage Against the Machine
Black Veil Brides
30 Seconds to Mars
Escape the Fate
Otep
Miss May I
Stereoside
Sevendust
Velvet Revolver (maybe, if the band picks a singer)
My Darkest Days

And the random throwback headliner? Def Leppard. Yep. I think it could work. Modern headliner? Nickelback of course.

I bet you can't wait to give me your thoughts on this one, ha!

Bands I Want to See at M3 Rock Festival 2012

According to Facebook, M3 rock festival is definitely happening again. I don't have any more details, but I'm assuming it will once again be in May at Merriweather Post Pavilion, just outside of Baltimore, Maryland.

So who do I want to see? Here's my dream list:

Europe (headliner)
UFO
RATT
Poison (headliner)
Bang Tango
Zebra
Night Ranger
Saigon Kick
Lillian Axe
Dangerous Toys
Danger Danger
Dokken
Kix

So, what do you think of my lineup? Who do you agree with? And who would you add?

ShipRocked Sails Today!

Ahoy, my dear readers! I'm in warm and beautiful Ft. Lauderdale, Florida today, getting ready to board the MSC Poesia for ShipRocked. While I'm on the ship, I'll hopefully get to meet some of you, rock out to some great bands and do some good work for a good friend.

I'm most excited about seeing Lynam and Sevendust perform live again - haven't seen either band live in a year! I'm also excited to see Queensryche, Buckcherry and to take part in some fun activities like Heavy Metal Karaoke (okay, I don't sing - I watch) and a pirate party.

My bags are packed, I'm ready to go! Bring Back Glam! is on auto-pilot this week. I hope you enjoy the articles my team and I whipped up for your enjoyment. Remember: a full cruise report (with pictures) will be posted here when I return!

Sales in Music Drop, I'm Still a Fan

Global sales in music dropped by $1.5bn in the last year. That's a drop of 8.4%. Sales of CDs dropped by nearly 15%. No wonder labels are thinking about dropping the CD (I believe that niche markets like glam, or classical, will continue to see CDs manufactured, but that pop music will not). Those figures are worldwide.

In the US, overall sales dropped 10%, and CD sales dropped by 20%. If you look at the best selling albums for each decade, you see from the 70s to the 80s to the 90s, that the numbers kept growing.

Now, they are falling. Sebastian Bach released a CD recently, Kicking and Screaming. He announced that as his CD debuted at #67 in the Billboard charts, and the last one debuted at #190, so now he feels he will make more CDs. Sounds good. However, Angel Down sold 6,400 units in it's first week, and Kicking and Screaming sold 6,600.

In contrast, the original Skid Row CD was recently at number 103, having sold 1,762 copies that week. Metallica's self titled CD is still at number 55. Dark Side of the Moon is at number 38. Going back to the 90s, the best selling CD of 1999 was Millenium, but the Backstreet Boys. It sold 9.5 million copies. Assuming it was on sale all year, that's 180 thousand copies a week. The Dixe Chicks, the 10th best selling album of that year, if it was selling all year, sold 67 thousand copies a week. In other words, if they released DURING that year, then they sold more. Amy Winehouse, at number one in the chart I found online for 2011, sold 12,700 copies in that week. There can be no question that music is selling less, a lot less. The question is, why?

I think piracy plays a huge part. I know people who ran a local music store (since closed) and they lost 1/3 of their sales overnight when Napster hit the news. I'd like to think that people like Sebastian Bach still chart because we are more loyal to the artists we love than the typical pop fan. But, I think there's
something else going on. I think kids nowadays don't love music the way we did. I think they have other priorities. I wonder if the bands of today will go on to have long careers, or if the idea of a career in music is simply fading away, all around us. I hope not. But, all the signs are there. There is no question that there's less money being made on music sales, and that's music to support artists who are just getting by, to support stores, to support people working in recording and distribution. There's a lot of jobs disappearing, and the music industry is looking less like an industry all the time.

One thing is for sure, I'm stocking up on CDs before they stop making them. Although, I've wondered if the "no more CDs" story was designed to make me do that, I am certain this is an industry trying everything it can to survive.