Thursday
Dec102009
Miley Cyrus Goes Glam?
Thursday, December 10, 2009 at 12:01AM Briefly: People Magazine is reporting that Miley Cyrus has recorded a version of Poison's "Every Rose Has Its Thorn." Apparently Bret Michaels is on the recording too.
I don't think I have anything else to say about this. It's all just a little too insane for me. To be fair, Miley is apparently a huge Poison fan, which is cool. I'm just not sure I'll be able to take the teen-pop version of "Rose."
Reader Comments (21)
Bret being on board is just smart business for him, I mean that's easy money in his pocket right!
I wanted to throw up when I read this yesterday, but I'm sure the song will be a hit with Miley fans and will generate a lot of revenue for Poison.
I look forward to when Miley turns into a Lindsey Lohan and her career stalls b/c we all know that girl is NOT talented! UGH! What a waste of a good song remake!
Poison are too cheesy for my liking, and Miley Cyrus is the bane of my life. Seriously, her songs and videos stalk me throughout life, ruining the best moments!
haha (kenny ozz, I hope you're sitting around tonight reading your cute blog name to yourself and you look in the mirror and say "damn that guy might have a point" "I am a loser")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3di6vP2slHY
But it is brilliant for Poison financially. And the bottom line is that this is an entertainment industry, and finances is all that really matters when all is said and done. Miley is one of the most popular pop singers out there right now, so having her sing a song that you wrote is likely to result in a good paycheck. It's a smart business move for Bret, and I do not hold it against him at all.
Though I must say, I really gotta keep a better eye on Planet "Bring Back Glam" as all hell has broken loose on here. Can't Metalboy! take a vacation without people gettin' so nutso without me doin' it too!?
And a*shole Jimmy, Metalboy! is gonna transverse the entire planet 'til I find yo *ss, tie it up to a bottomless bentwood chair and have that evil dude from that James Bond flick who cries blood whip your b*lls while you watch Adam Lambert backed by Motorhead joined onstage by Slayer to perform "I'm So Bad Baby, I Don't Care" 33 times in succession.
Seriously, you're a total ingrate and obviously quite possibly a latent in bred pedopheliac, sickly obsessed with tween queen Miley Vyrus or whatever the h*ll her name is.
Kari is dead on with her comments on Miley Vyrus. She's a total puppet. The only good thing she was ever a part of is that beautiful series of photos from the Annie Liebowitz shoot in Vanity Fair.
Except that it was jumped on by the weirdo right wing puritanical police, as usual, for being "too provocative". How about they're simply beautiful and leave it at that.
It's called "Art", something most of the clowns on here including myself are constantly forgetting about, when it comes to this stuff we call Rock and Roll.
So, Metal Kidz, get ready... let's call it like it is, folks!...
Here goes...
Miley is a carefully packaged brand of mediocre cross genre country/pop/milktoast, rehashed and dumbed down to the lowest common denominator (LCD), for mass consumption for idiots like you and me...
And, unfortunately, even worse, for the carnivorous consumption of the American brain dead, scary bottom feeders like little pea-brained Jimmy, as well, a great example of the truest form of LCD obviously, since he has to resort to hatred toward someone for their sexual preferences (Adam Lambert).
I mean, c'mon, Jimmy Jo, shouldn't we be at least a little concerned about your fierce devotion and undying love of over-rated snorefest and tween queen, Miss Miley?
She represents all that is crap about the music industry.
I like Christine Sixx's comment the best of all of them on this thread, as it really puts to the fore what we should all be doing when it comes to drivel like Miley Vyrus lamely being passed off as entertainment by the record machine.
looksthatkill has it sussed on here...
And Lucifer's comment is hilarious. The Machine will be delighted to know that if it can't convert you with it's brainwashing in it's attempt to "entertain" with the likes of Miley Cyanide at least it can do the next best thing in it's eyes and that is to drive you crazy with her crap.
The only one who's got it wrong besides homophobe moron Jimmy, is Pat, who I don't think is vicious in her comparison of Smiley Vyrus with Lindsay Lohan, but it's ill concieved and unecessary...
Here's why... if Smiley Miley duz wind up trashed on drugs and booze like Lindsay Lohan, there will always be two differences between the two of them...
And they are...
1) Lindsay is far more beautiful than Miley will ever be as Miley is just kind of plain Jane-ish and there are subtle indications judging from her photographs that she could very well wind up looking a little bit bizarro as she gets older... Specifically, a very gummy smile and pug nose (tho the latter could probably be thinned out with some very subtle plastic surgery and L.A. is the place for that kind, too).
2) Lindsay Lohan has actual talent as demonstrated in her roles alongside the likes of Meryl Streep, who just raves about Lindsay's acting ability but scolds her for her recreational drug indiscretions. Lohan was also great in "Mean Girls", if you want to see talented acting on not the crap you think is good on garbage like C.S.I. or reruns of Sex in the City. Further proof of Miley Cyanide's lack of overall talent beyond just her inability to carry a tune (tho she could find a second career as a new member of Little Alvin & The Chipmunks), is her total lack of talent in the acting department as thoroughly documented in her lack of acting ability as demonstrated in the Hannah Montana character on Disney and in the so called movies she's appeared in. Utter rubbish.
Poor girl. No matter how many billions she winds up being worth, she and we will always know she sux.
That coupled with the fact (lets face it, kids), that Poison are the kings of rehash means that we are, most likely, indeed, not going to wind up with anything terribly inspiring or original from the Miley/Brett Michaels summit.
I mean, c'mon... from their very first guitar riff theft of Johnny Thunders to their very last own self-robbery and self-cannibalizaton ("Ain't Nothin' But A Good Time" and "Unskinny Bop" are rehashes of each other as well as "Talk Dirty To Me"). Don't get me wrong, I love 'em for it, but I'm not going to kid myself that there's anything terribly original going on here.
Sorry, Dave, but Kenny is right in every regard on this. Gotta tellya, Metaloids, and you know it, Poison sold out long ago and refuse to deliver any new material of real substance (i.e. a Romantics cover, "What I Like About You", etc, though passable, doesn't really cut it.) and are content to be a reunion act on the bible belt circuit rather than hit the coasts and more intelligent audiences with real material.
These guys should have been out there tryin' to top their excellent debut, "Look What The Cat Dragged In", at every turn, and should still be tryin' to do it. They can't even achieve half-assed semi-critical success the way Aerosmith has done occasionally way past their prime (i.e. "Jaded").
Instead they're content to rehash away for the likes of the Jimmy Jo's of the world, with phony biker redneck get-ups and faux cowboy attitude (Brett Michaels, you're from Pennsylvania) to appeal to the Jimmy Jo Jarhead set.
The only difference between Poison (read, Brett Michaels) and Jimmy Jo, is that they used to wear make-up like Adam Lambert and had real songs, unlike Adam Lambert, and had tween girlz chasin' them down the street vs. the other way around, which seems to be what Jimmy Jo's into, considering his unconditional devotion and ridiculous defense of packaged good, Cyrus.
Another harsh reality is the fact we must face about the little ditty, "Every Rose Has It's Thorn", and that is the truth about it. It's boring. I mean, c'mon, it's on everyone's top 10 list of The Greatest Power Ballads Of All Time simply because it's on everyone else's. It's a classic case of sheep following sheep when it comes to any real earnest appreciation of this dumb-*ss song. It's a frickin' country song and it ain't Rock'n'Roll!
Perfect for Miley Cyrus "fans" like Jimmy Jo. I didn't get into Poison cuz I wanted to listen to Country-Rock or Redneck Metal. I liked 'me cuz they kicked *ss and really amped up and vamped up the Glam Metal template. They rocked out with their c*ck out and took no prisoners with no apologies.
To tellya the truth, Poison lost me after the first album, when it became so obvious they had sold out with "Open Up And Say Ahhhh...", though their knock offs of "Talk Dirty To Me" and "I Want Action" in the forms of "Ain't Nothin' But A Good Time" and "Unskinny Bop" are still enough of an excuse to crank up the volume and jump around like the fools we are still capable of being.
"Every Rose Has It's Thorn" by Miley Cyrus with Brett Michaels? No doubt, it has "hit" written all over it. America loves rehash, especially if it's something that smells of rehash when it was created ("Every Rose..." ... c'mon, Rockers, did you really go, "Oh, sh*t, it's like nothing I've ever heard before?). Look at all the crap movies that get remade when they should just simply be burned.
"Every Rose..." is crap compared to "Sweet Child O' Mine", tho probably a better comparison is "Patience", which I frankly find equally boring, tho, I admit, it does demonstrate a helluva lot more originality than "Every Rose..."
Incidentally, I have both of these within one or two songs of each other on my B-list Metal Powerballads/Love Songs list. That's really just the Metal completist in me at work and not any particular enthusiasm for these songs.
Gary, what the hell? Carrie Underwood? That is positively crap. Real Rock and Roll is Real Rock and Roll, like Skid Row. Real Country Music is Real Country Music, like Patsy Cline, old Judds and Dolly Parton, etc.
What these genre's of music are not and should not be is this white-trash ideal of Mediocrity in the forms of Miley and Carrie. That stuff ain't good and it taint never gonna be, boyz!
Enough of the yahoo-ism and it's time to Rock again! It's time to Bring Back Glam for real with the likes of Crucified Barbara, not this candy a*sed retread crap foisted on us with the likes of Miley Cyrus and Carrie Underwood via Disney and American Idol.
And Frank, you should be ashamed of yourself. Taylor Swift cannot sing her way out of a paper bag and Def Leppard tanked creatively when Steve Clarke checked out. This collaboration is rehash of rehash.
Rock and Roll People, C'mon! People, let's Rock and Roll!
And if I were Billy Boy Ray Cyrus, I'd keep a close eye on the set of that video, judging from Bretty Boy on his crap reality show with all those semi-pro "dancers" he's got traipsing around on there.
And even more so, Billy Ray also needs to watch out for psycho stalkers like Jimmy Jo, too!
So forget Miley Vyrus and Frett Crybulls. And dorks like Jimmy Jo, too!
And whatever you say, a*s, remember nothing phases Metalboy! unless you figure out what my Kryptonite is (which you never will, of course.). I'm a frickin' Metalatomaton and I'm gonna crank my teflon Les Paul right through your face ugly, weird a*s "Deliverance" face, little Jimmy Jo Jerkyboy!
So, hey, everybody (xcept Jimmy), why not get rockin' to something real! Check out Gunfire 76 (which one of you above recommended and did Metalboy! such an awesome favor by doing so). Now that rocks!
Disclaimer: I take full responsibility for the usual typos, dangling participles, run-on sentences and acknowledgments of doof bozos like Jimmy Whimpy.
So fuck you I WIN.
...and ya I'm waiting for you to follow through on your treat big boy.