Yahoo! Slags Glam

I hate it when people try to be "cool" on the Internet. Every time some writer tries to be ultra chic, a Glam band ends up getting slammed.

About two days ago, Yahoo! released lists of the best and worst hairbands of all time. For starters, we don't say hairbands, and second, I urge you to take both lists with a grain of salt. They are, after all, complete crap. Both were written by some guy named Rob O'Connor. I bet he has an M.A. in English like me. The difference is that my piece of overpriced paper is shoved in the bottom of a plastic tub in one of my over crowded closets and his is probably displayed proudly on his desk so the world knows he's in academic debt up to his eyeballs. Nope, you can't buy credibility - you have to earn it. With lists like these...well, I wonder if Rob ever had aspirations of working for the local Starbucks? That seems hipster enough for him. 

First, the "worst."

25. Mr. Big
24. Y&T
23. Bang Tango
22. Shotgun Messiah
21. Lizzy Borden
20. Trixter
19. Danger Danger
18. Autograph
17. Dokken
16. Bulletboys
15. Lita Ford
14. Stryper
13. Great White
12. Slaughter
11. Giuffria
10. White Lion
09. Damn Yankees
08. Warrant
07. Bad English
06. Europe
05. Whitesnake
04. W.A.S.P.
03. Extreme
02. Skid Row
01. Poison

 Now...the best. Drum roll, please...

25. Winger
24. L.A. Guns
23. Queensryche
22. Enuff Z'Nuff
21. Hanoi Rocks
20. Angel
19. Loverboy
18. Faster Pussycat
17. Bon Jovi
16. RATT
15. Quiet Riot
14. Kix
13. Vixen
12. Scorpions
11. Cinderella
10. Twisted Sister
09. Spinal Tap
08. Motley Crue
07. Ozzy Osbourne
06. Kiss
05. Aerosmith
04. Def Leppard
03. New York Dolls
02. Van Halen
01. Guns n' Roses

Now, regardless of how you feel about either list - it's the commentary that makes this all so priceless. About Motley Crue, Rob writes:

"Mick Mars may be the creepiest looking guy in music--and that's saying something. And Tommy Lee may only be "lovable" to women who regularly appear in centerfolds. But I wasn't planning on inviting these guys to dinner. On some level, you expect to hear that your rock stars do not behave like choir boys or even decent human beings. Whether they drink the blood of goats or indulge in enough recreational narcotics to have a poppy field named after them, it goes with the territory. Their greatest sin isn't heroin, it's their inherent corniness."

 Now...his take on Warrant:

"How many forms of wretched can one band deliver? Well, if "Heaven" isn't enough for you, there's always a little "Cherry Pie" to go along with it on the side. Power ballads! Crappy stadium anthems! And guest spots from the guys in Danger Danger and Poison! It's like a recipe straight from Rachael Ray."

I think you and I both agree that these lists are way off - and naming Poison the worst "hairmetal" band is a big joke. Motley Crue is not high enough on the good list. While Motley actually made the good side, all the author did was slag them, so what is the point? Click the links above to read comments. I seriously have nothing more to add about this laughable mess.

Comments

[Christian]

I agree - these lists exist for the amusement of people who hate our music. I hate rap, and I may joke about it, but I wouldn't bother building a 'worst of rap' list, or reviewing a rap CD. That's just stupid.

[Chey]

I totally agree with you.

FUCK HIM!! what the hell does he know? NOTHING!!!

I love all bands on both lists! SCREW HIM! Motley shoulda been number one anyways. UGH!!!!

[Chey]

I think i am gonna take my email buisness else where!

i was reading the comments people left on yahoo. They are pretty pissed to. serves that fucker right!

[Heather]

Those lists are a bunch of crap. Clearly they have no clue what good music sounds like.

[Xavier]

This guy has no idea what rock and glam are !!

Can't believe on the worst list are many of my favorite bands and the bands me and all my friends listen all the time, maybe we all have some kind of music disfunction........

[Chessie]

What the hell was this guy smoking (and hopefully he WON'T share it!)???

ah, well, at least Winger wasn't on the 'Worst' list so the author isn't on my 'Worst' list...as much...

>^..^<

[fletch]

I gave up on lists a long time ago- especially after (SPIN?) magazine rated Eddie Van Halen really low in the "Best Guitarists of all Time" category. I even think Jerry Garcia beat him. Too Funny.

Listen to allyson and take these lists with a grain of salt!

Hoever, Cinderella IS ranked pretty high on the list!!!

[Christine]

Like Christian said in the first comment, why on earth would you have someone write a best/worst of list if he isn't a true connoisseur of the genre? I love old/outlaw country, but I would never have the audacity to write a best/worst of list since I don't know enough about it. Sure, he's allowed to have his own opionion, even if it's horribly disgusting, but wouldn't it serve the internet readers of the world better if he was writing about something he was passionate about? Poison, Skid Row, and Extreme as the top 3 worst hair bands? Seriously? Here I am struggling to make a living out of my writing, and this jackass got a gig at Yahoo! What the hell?!?!?!?

There's a writer for a local newspaper here in Columbus who HATES Rush, but the paper lets him do a review of them everytime they come into town. What kind of sense does that make? Every review he's written about Rush has been bad. I'm not a fan of Rush, but I'd like to read a review of the show from someone who actually likes them.

Hurry up and start your own magazine Allyson! I want to write for you! :)

[Stenji]

I say we go on a man hunt for this O'Connor guy.

[Pat]

Spinal Tap? Surely the whole point of Spinal Tap was that they were the 'worst' hairband..

Reading some of his other lists, it becomes clear that he's really rather far up himself.

[Hollpass!]

Thank GOD we have a REAL place to go for information and fun...BRING BACK GLAM!!!! What a shmuck that guy is!!!

[KixRules]

While his lists are crap I do give him credit for acknowledging Kix as one of the top 25 Glam Bands of all time! :>

[Gary]

This fucking idiot probablt wrote those list's in his Mom's basement (where he still lives,and is only allowed on the computer after he finishes all of his vegetables...)

[Vicky]

what a douchebag.

[George]

I didn't think it was that big a deal. These days anyone can set up their own website or blog and make their own lists if they don't agree with this guys.

I will admit thought that some of his choices were rather curious. I would not include White Lion, Extreme, Skid Row, or Poison on the 'worst' list. And I'd leave Angel, Vixen, Speinal Tap, Ozzy and the New York Dolls off the 'best' list.

[Metal Mark]

Those lists were meant to be funny (and they are) and meant to rile people up (and they did). It's no big deal, just someone's opinion.

[Kristen]

BAD article. Opinions based on 1 song in the various artists' entire collection of music. Bad Writing. Erroneous pictures. He gets my vote for the douche bag dripping of the year!

[Chey]

and i still don't get why he put Lita Ford on the worst list. If bring back glam was a mag....i'd get it.

[Vicki]

Yeah, I saw these last night. To say the very least, I was not pleased. Then again, my opinions often differ from those of critics...

Honestly, the thing that bothers me the most about these lists is how they took up space on Yahoo! that should have contained news.

This is why Bring Back Glam! is my homepage instead of Yahoo!

[tommydahl]

i will eat his young/ feast on his innards // the man is a putz // man i need a beer c-- ya