Thursday
Apr232020
Bret Michaels - A Slippery Banana
Thursday, April 23, 2020 at 08:48AM This should surprise no one. Bret Michaels competed on The Masked Singer this season - and was just revealed as "The Banana." It was highly obvious the bandana was below the banana mask because of the signature Bret strut, constant metal horns and the voice that wasn't disguised when singing.
At any rate, I enjoy The Masked Singer and this gave Eric and I something to laugh about a lot last night.
🚨 SPOILER ALERT 🚨 #BananaMask is...#TheMaskedSinger pic.twitter.com/0YFikBfYr6
— The Masked Singer (@MaskedSingerFOX) April 23, 2020
Reader Comments (14)
1.Don’t Need Nothin’ But A Good Wipe
2.Every Roll Has It’s Corn
3. Give Me Charmin To Believe In
4. Mamas Fallen Angel (Soft)
This "Masked singer" show looks like the modern equivalent to Hollywood Squares, where C-level stars go to cling on to their last shred of relevance (notice I did not say "dignity"). BM will do anything to keep his mug on the TV no matter how ridiculous and alienating to his rock fan base.
Could anyone imagine, when "Achy Breaky Heart" was released as THE most annoying song of 1992 (which is saying alot considering the Lolapalooza bands exploded that year); that the singer of Poison would be performing that POS on national television dressed as a Banana?
It would have been awesome if CC had been able to keep going as Samantha 7; that was a really fun and well done rock album, so much better than anything Bret Michaels has done outside of Poison (hey Bret, aren't you about due to re-record "Every Rose" for the 17th time??)
The worst part is that with Bret being the face of Poison, and so well known outside rock circles; he has the leverage to keep Poison hostage for the past 20 years, they cannot do anything without his full endorsement. I had such high hopes for the band when CC came back and "Power To The People" was released, but that was the last interesting thing they have done, and PTTP turns 20 this year.
Hey Bret - Have fun with your banana suits, designer dog collars, solo albums that sounded like they were done on a four-track, and overall goofy "Toby Kieth" vibe on stage, you had potential to leave a respectable legacy as rock singer... Now you are known to an entire generation as "the banana", hope it was a decent pay day.
PS - yes I know it is redundant to write "Goofy" AND "Toby Kieth" as a descriptive; but I cannot ever resist the opportunity to reinforce how uncool Toby Keith is.
Mike, nice post. Don't agree with everything you said. But I appreciate a detailed and passionate take on the topic. Things have been a bit thin around here recently. So keep up the good work!
Agree with EVERYTHING you said and then some! ... Don’t worry about HIM! ... He knows you’re absolutely right except for maybe Samantha 7 ... I mean, that was just alright ...
But your points draw attention to Michaels not realizing POISON actually might have had a shot at bring in The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, except he squandered it when they started putting out fodderous albums and then shamelessly cheapening his legacy with his “ heavied up” Garth Brooks knock-offs.
I just have a hard time seeing the banana thing, knowing Poison was supposed to tour this summer; why not put energy into actully making that cool? Record some music so you have something to enhance the setlist. Be the singer of Poison instead of a goddamn BANANA.
All that being said, I genuinely did LMAO at the whole Masked Singer thing, just maybe from a different perspective than some.
Nah, Mike. You keep on keeping on. I think it is good to vent a little every now and again. No need to apologize for stating your opinions. But cool of you to reflect on those opinions too. I try to do that. Others don't. Cool either way, though I respect those that do a lot more. Because we can converse. And, right now, this site is one of those ways for people to reach out to others. So keep reaching out!
And Metalboy! is partially right. There is no need to worry about what I think (most don't). But I support your right to say what you think and engage in a back and forth with people on this site. That is what makes it awesome.
Personally, I don't really care for Poison, and care a lot less for Michaels (if you read this site you know that). But I do like some of their songs (you know that too). And I appreciate some of the things he does for charity. But Michaels, for whatever reason, is a person who has had multiple chances to celebrate what made him famous. Instead, he constantly goes for the ego-stroke while forgetting who paid for those beautiful bananas (I mean, bandanas). In the process, he devalues himself and the band. No one likes to see their idols busking for attention. Michaels does that all the time. I also get it. He is making money doing these things. He is keeping his brand alive while also keeping his b(r)and in the news . . . because it is their music that made them/him news in the first place! But, if I were as much of a fan of him and his band as you are, Mike, I would be losing my ****. If I was one of his band mates, having to play nice if I want a chance to do what I love to do, ditto.
Sadly, this has happened to other acts that I care a lot more about. So I get where you are coming from. It stings when the music we love is bashed against the rock of pomposity (and I think Michaels' gracious and fun loving and so lucky and oh so nice act is just that, an act, intermixed with a wee bit of self-awareness . . . hence the horsey-hair thing; true fans could give a squat he is bald). Thing is, people buy it. And, in so doing, they validate this Muck of Love road he is traveling. The funniest thing about this whole incident is that the master of illusion (pun intended) knew from jump it was him. Why? All his moves are calculated and codified, like a robot. It takes one to know one.
Long story short? I think you and I agree on most of what matters when it comes to Michaels, Mike. And I would never slag anyone for liking a band I don't . . . simply because I don't like them (that is a subtle point that some posters on here never got, never get).
Hope everyone is doing well. Try to have a good weekend.
https://www.shopbretmichaels.com/
Be prepared to sigh . . .
He was in the news a couple months back saying "it would be great if" Poison could record new music before the summer tour. Well do it then!
...except that he won't because too busy pushing banana merch. Cause that's obviously what everyone wants and needs...
Him of course we all want to hear what you think. You often bring thought provoking perspective to my single minded brain.
Gary Gary Gary you kill me and I needed a laugh today hope your enjoying life and keeping the water clean in your neck of the woods.
MB you are dead on Michales can't see past his ego to realize that "you don't know what you got til its gone" I don't know if he will ever realize that but on another Brett slamming note since he hasn't written a great song in years it makes me question the song writing on the first 3 albums I have heard rumblings there was some plagiarism and really nothing new in 30 years that compares to something to believe in or cry tough or tearing down the walls - the valley of lost souls I just don't get it - did the well run dry is 1989
@BK I don't watch that crap either - how you holding up with gyms being closed?
Happy Monday metal warriors - when I hit the lottery we are all going to get together and meet in person - the conversations would be epic
Wouldn't it be great if we could all meet up? Shawn, you organize it (post-lottery). Metalboy! can provide transportation in his magical metal limo (post-lottery). Gary can MC the event. Mike, you bring the banana-scented candles (low blow, I know). I even think--no jokes here--that bkallday and I would get along just fine; no wrasslin'. But, boy oh boy, the fun with all of us in attendance!!! It would be like capturing horse hair in a bandana . . . or, err, something like that!